Candidate must have hands on sludge experience

A true line from a job ad today

Turn Left At Plymouth

I can't believe I'm watching live footage of a whale in the Thames. I'm pretty sure I'm not smoking crack, but there could have been something in the soap I used to wash the car earlier.

I thought I'd supply the joke for tonight's stand up in the headline.

Casino

Finally got started. Took out my spade and broke the ground. I've done about half of the first chapter so far. I don't know if this will pass Hal Duncan's first sentence critique test, but here's the first paragraph:

Dee, Mathematician, Magus, Spy, picks up the cards that he has been dealt. The good quality deck is of the Italian style. He has one card with seven gold coins, made with real gold leaf. The other depicts seven batons, sprouting leaves. “Numerus quarante huit,” he says, making his bid. He hasn’t been recognised yet, good. He places a few coins on the table in front of him and observes the reaction.

16th Century pulp, historical accuracy and adventure. Why did I do this to myself?

Closer

Well, finally finished the first draft of the outline. I'm going to do another pass and fill in some of the XXX and YYYs. Then I can work on filling it out in more detail while I get started on the opening Dee section. I've been itching to write this for soo long now, I almost don't want to start and disappoint myself.